October 29, 2023

Under the hunter moon October 27, 2023

I drove out east with him Friday night. He didn’t really need me to help but it felt important to be in my head out on the prairie rather than spinning on shit I can’t change or control from the house. While he set a fence post, I took a walk on the dusk lit prairie. It’s something I’ve never done before because I don’t like cold weather or wind and I’m afraid of snakes so my window of opportunity to such a thing is small. It was in the high 30’s but I had on my big coat and we didn’t have any wind. I walked along the dry creek (the “draw”) for a bit and when I looked to the west to catch a glimpse of the last bit of waning orange in the cloudless sky, I noticed the hill I had never climbed. It suddenly felt very important to climb this hill in the low light at dusk. What could I see from the top of this hill? I felt like a child on an adventure but I didn’t run up the hill because I’m afraid of falling in a hole, tripping and falling into cactus…that sort of thing. It was a quick tramp up the hill, and I felt bold because it was almost dark and I was walking off trail, dodging rabbit bush, salt bush, and rocks. Once I made it to the top, I had a view of my home, the trees in an outlined embrace around the house. The moon was growing higher and brighter in the east sky, threatening to light the landscape. I remembered how the moonlight streamed through our bedroom window the night before and how safe, warm, and cocooned I felt in ways I haven’t in a long time. I breathed in and out slowly—box breathing—to take in the moon’s energy. It was completely dark when started picking my way down the hill. When I finished my short descent, I the truck headlights were on and casting light over his work. I hurried along realizing I was probably going to be more useful holding a flashlight overhead like a beacon lighting his task.